My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
