There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
