I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
