i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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