Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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