So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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