she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
