uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Help me help you realize you are a moron
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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