You really coming over, don't trick.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
