I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Randomize
