I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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