also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
