I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
