your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
