I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
