i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
