This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
