Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
