Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
