my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
