i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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