it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
