I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
