? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A bitchslap is in order.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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