could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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