Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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