Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
