THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
