You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
