there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
