Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
