it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
