And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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