SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
