we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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