i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
