I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
