I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
