it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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