Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
