Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
