So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
