Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
