her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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