THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize