i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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