In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
whose parrot is this?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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