idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
