That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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