Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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